Sometimes I want to reconnect to a child that no longer exists, go back to when I was just a little kid,
When all my problems didn’t have a name, didn’t know who to blame
For feeling this sick and empty, senselessly ashamed.
Not having a say in my own life’s narrative,
Quick learning love is hard to get, being aware of it.
And now all that’s left of that little girl is these two brown eyes, full of lies
Full of why’s,
Pain disguised,
I’m alright.
I hope you still can hear me, I sense that if we meet you could fear me,
Built a wall so tall you can’t even see the end of it.
I just wish I could hold you tight,
“This is not right”,
I know, and it won’t feel alright overnight. But, see,
You have a lot of potential and love to give, and you’re forgetting this, yeah, I know, we’re still struggling.
All this pain seems so unbearable, regrettable, hysterical, but I promise you don’t even know the half of it.
I am sorry I am not good at sugar coating the pill, but you must’ve already learned to accept your fate and be still.
I know it hurts, being in this state of mind
Feels like we’re never gonna get outside, out of pride, suicide
Will feel so tempting and you’re gonna get close to it,
Maybe a bit too much, and you’ll start finding comfort in it,
Feeling like you’ve reached the limit of life, I know what it’s like,
Only on the bottom of the ocean you’ll see life and death are alike.
I guess the whole point of this conversation,
Is I’m making a lot of effort, to recognize myself and have a decent attitude
I am sorry I don’t want to be rude,
But if I love you, then, I have to feel love for me.
And that’s too far from happening, that’s just the reality,
But we’re getting there, I promise I am battling.
Unraveling your traumas will never stop being hard,
Your skin won’t ever stop hurting even when it is scarred,
When you feel hopeless and you want to die,
When you feel like you can’t even cry,
Stare at the sky, don’t look for a guide
Just see the beauty of the world from this side,
And enjoy the ride.
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